Tuesday bedtime

8:20 “I don’t want to watch TV,” said Fenner, “I’m going to get ready for bed because … I feel like it. I want lots of time with mom and dad.” Ellen responded, “Well, you won’t get it if Charlotte doesn’t come up.”

8:25 “Charlotte! Come on! It’s time to get ready!” “Ok!” she runs up the stairs, “Mom! It’s time to go up!” “Ok!” I say.

8:33 “Ready! We’re all ready!” Nine minutes each. Happy campers, all of us…

It occurred to me that this new approach may be helping Charlotte feel more like she belongs, and that she counts. When Vicki told me not to worry so much about the girls resenting each other, a whole new set of options opened up. I stopped stressing about one girl ruining things for the others and started talking about teamwork and how we’re all in this together. Now they all have to have their homework done to watch TV, and they all have to be on time for school and bed to get to stay up later. And I’m finding that instead of breeding resentment like I always feared, it encourages teamwork and a sense of belonging and importance. Charlotte’s part of the team. She knows she belongs and that she counts. Her sisters are counting on her…

Explore posts in the same categories: Week 4: Four Mistaken Goals of Behavior

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