Devil’s in the details

Ok, so we decided not to address the candy/tooth-brushing issue at this time, and for now we can’t think of any other privileges to add to the list. We know that earning the privilege of eating out will be addressed down the road … just not yet. With Jerry’s traveling, our meal times and routines are so irregular that we’re just not ready to go there.

So to begin with, our P&R list is shaping up to be:

Revised P&RCompliance with orthodontia treatment will be discussed as one of our agreements, as well as what their daily ‘screen-time’ limit should be after they earn the TV/computer/Nintendo privilege.

I was going to sit down with the girls tonight to discuss all of this, but I balked. This is pretty big stuff, and I don’t want to cram it in between gymnastics, dinner, and bedtime. On top of that, Jerry’s away on a business trip until Friday. I thought I could do it without him, and I could. But I don’t want to.

Friday night has a lot going on as well, so I’m hatching a plan in my head for Saturday: Pancake breakfast, leisurely P&R discussion, and a farewell-to-TV family movie together in the living room. That feels right to me.

Meanwhile, I keep mulling over what timeframes to set for earning each privilege. I think I’ve settled on using weeks as the unit of time. About one week for all of them to earn a later bedtime seems to be working fine, so we’ll stick with that. Two weeks seems like enough to ask for them to go without their beloved TV and Nintendos. (As much as I love to veg out with TV myself after they go to bed, I’m really looking forward to this. Yes, I enjoy TV, but it also has me reading less and staying up too late. Plus it seems like Ellen has that Nintendo in her hands almost constantly. Time for a break.)

Then there’s the visiting with friends. Vicki had an interesting suggestion for this one: that we separate Fenner and Ellen from Charlotte in terms of timeframes and how this one is earned. In other words, Fenner and Ellen’s timeframe will be one week longer – three weeks instead of two. If Charlotte trips up, only her clock starts over, not everyone’s, and if either Fenner or Ellen trip up, then the clock starts over for just the two of them.

We’re going to try this for two weeks and see how it goes. I’ll explain that the different timeframes are based on their ages, and if they complain, I’ll blame it on Vicki. 🙂 No, really, I will.

Having them all on the same team definitely has its advantages, but separating them for this one presents some unique challenges, and we want to see who might rise to the occasion. To put it simply, who has the strength and skill to walk away from a fight?

For example, if Charlotte tries to pester Fenner to the point of hitting Charlotte and losing her friends privilege, how will Fenner respond? Will she be able to contain herself and walk away? Likewise, if Ellen is in Charlotte’s face criticizing her, will Charlotte turn the other cheek? If not and Charlotte hits and/or yells at Ellen, will Ellen yell and hit her back?

What feats of self-control might we witness? There’s only one way to find out…

Explore posts in the same categories: Week 8: Privileges & Responsibilities

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