Jerry and I enjoyed a half-day refresher course with Vicki yesterday. I found it just as inspiring the second time around.

People like to ask, “But how do I get my kid to _____?”

“I don’t know,” says Vicki, “Hit him!”

Blank stare from the parent.

“I don’t know how to get your kids to do anything,” she continues, “The question is, what will it take for them to choose to do it themselves?”

Another parent chimes in, “Yeah, but when my son’s being lazy, I make him. I make him get up.”

“Ok. … Then what? He hates you, you hate him and he’s not doing it on his own. Is that what you want? Because those moments create little cracks in the relationship until it becomes a big divide and pretty soon they have no interest in a relationship with you … no interest!”

So what do we want for us and our kids? And what are we willing to do to get there? Do we want kindness, independence, and resilience? And do we really think we’ll get there on a road paved with scolding, rescuing, and interference? Are we willing to look in the mirror and do the work to change old habits based on our own dysfunctional baggage?

This program faces facts: There are no quick fixes, no silver bullets. If you want extraordinary results, you have to do the work, put in the time, make the changes in yourself.

We are not responsible for our children. We are responsible to them, to be the best we can be. It’s not easy and I don’t believe it can be done on your own without help. This program lays out the steps to get you there. Vicki has done the research and worked out the basic plan. All you have to do is pick up the ball and run with it and then make it your own — dribble it, bounce it, roll it. Just don’t drop it.

Explore posts in the same categories: Weeks following: Miscellaneous

2 Comments on “Encore”

  1. Vicki Says:

    I love you. It was so great spending the day with you. Thank you. I am so looking forward to the idea of a parenting retreat where we have the time to sit down and bond with parents in a more intimate way. I know parent’s want to pick your brain and see inside the workings of your family. Thank you for everything.

    Kisses to you all. V

    • flockmother Says:

      Kisses and love right back to you. Loved meeting your hubby too!

      Yikes, where would I be without the work that you do? Still floundering around just trying to get through the day. What a difference. Thank *you*.

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