The thing is …

What? What is it? What is the thing that will help me connect with my daughter today? It might be the same thing as yesterday. Or it might not.

This is the second most valuable take-away I got from my recent workshop with Vicki: connection is a moving target. Kids grow and change every day. And since “connect with my kids” is the single most important item on my daily to-do list (it’s the foundation for everything else in the relationship), this was an important a-ha moment.

What I love about this new awareness—that the thing that worked yesterday may not work today—is that it encourages me to pay more attention, be more present, stay more curious. I get to work on my relationship and figure out what makes my daughter tick today. Right now.

It reminds me of kids and food. Haven’t we all at least once uttered the words, “What’s the matter? You liked it yesterday!” And, puzzled by our total frustration (having loaded the pantry with said food item), the child says simply, “Yeah, but not today.”

Yes, moving targets can be frustrating. There will be days when it seems out of reach. But now my eyes are wide open. What might it be today? I have to watch and listen or I might miss it.

Yesterday with Charlotte it was asking her to teach me how to play her favorite video game. Afterwards she cuddled up to me and with a look of pure satisfaction said, “It’s funny mom, after I taught you how, you won three times!”

With Fenner it was looking at catalogs together and chatting about the different items. After about 10 minutes she looked up at me and said, “Thanks, mom.” “For what?” I asked. “For everything.”


Explore posts in the same categories: Week 6: The Crucial C's, Weeks following: Miscellaneous

2 Comments on “The thing is …”

  1. Jane Says:

    Loved this one. Needed to hear it right now as well. The moving target is a tricky one!

  2. breathebeast Says:

    Ohhhh, what a breath of fresh, honest air. Love this one. I also feel like connecting is the best goal for me to have everyday, even though I still forget to prioritize it far too often. Thank you thank you for reminding me so beautifully.

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