In 2009, my husband and I took a class called Parenting on Track and our entire view of parenthood shifted. After that, there was no going back, and we began to implement Vicki Hoefle’s challenging, insightful, transformational 12-week program. We have three girls who, when we started this journey, were ages 6, 9, and 11. This is our story.

5 Comments on “About”

  1. Leah Says:

    Hey there!
    It is so interesting to read about your process w/ Parenting on Track-thank you for putting it into this format and sharing!
    We also took Vicki’s 1-day class and had that same ‘boy, do we need to do things differently…’ realization. But our reality is, we are having a HARD time implementing it w/ our kids, ages 17 months and 4 years.
    We’ve tried some techniques w/ reasonable outcomes, but others seem impossible, for ex: How on earth do you do nothing/say nothing w/ this age group? We’ve tried saying less/letting them work things out, but inevitably it gets physical fast; even more so than what we had previously which wasn’t too bad-and I know that it might get worse before better, but it doesn’t feel quite right.
    I emailed Vicki recently to ask for help, we’ve reviewed the CD/DVDs, did the teleconferences, etc. I wondered, now that you’re making it part of your lives, do you have any suggestions that might help us get started w/ kids this age? I know our experiences are like comparing apples and oranges, but if you have any thoughts, I’d so appreciate them.
    Congrats on your successes! Best, Leah

    • flockmother Says:

      Great question! I’ve thought about what we would do if our kids were much younger, and it would definitely be different, but I think the big-picture basics are the same. My advice is to do nothing and say nothing as much as possible — just that will foster so much independence. I see so many parents of little ones ordering them around every minute and intervening to do things for them just to be faster or better. So even if you cut that down by 25 – 50%, and overall treat them as capable people, then you’ll be doing really well.

      As for letting siblings work it out, Vicki does have some specific advice for toddlers. I remember she said that if a very little one is the victim of hitting, kicking, etc. Then a neutral swooop-in by a parent to re-direct the situation is appropriate. Basically you would walk in, pick the child up and say something like, “Hi! Would you like to come play a game with me?” and walk out of the room. So you don’t feed the fighting, but you minimize the physical harm to the small child. Vicki may have more to ad to that.

      Hope that helps and good luck!

  2. Kara Says:

    I really like your set-up and I am considering blogging in order to track my own progress w/ the program and stay on-track w/ it. We have yet to officially begin, but our materials are on the way. How do I set-up a blog like your site? Through wordpress? Free of charge? Thanks a bunch.

    I’m a bit nervous to begin the program! It seems so overwhelming.

    • flockmother Says:

      Yes, I really like wordpress. It’s free unless you want to include video clips, and then you pay a nominal fee for the extra space to upload multimedia. Otherwise just go to wordpress and choose one of their free themes, and you’ll be up and running in no time!

      The program *is* overwhelming. It just made so much sense to me that I had to do it. And now, mornings and bedtimes are completely transformed, the yelling and hitting has stopped, and yesterday I went shopping with all three girls and not once did any of them tug on my arm and say, “Mom, can I have …?” They were too busy counting their money and thinking hard about what they wanted and what they could afford on their own. And that’s only some of the changes we’ve seen. There’s a lot more, and a lot more to come. So, take a deep breath and go for it. You won’t be sorry.

      ps Please tell me your URL when you get started!

      • karacassani Says:

        Thank you. I attended a 6 week program w/ Vicki in the Fall, and I am hooked. Saw Vicki on “momtv.com” and she was even more inspirational.

        I was so touched by your tracking…really a deep, personal look into your experiences. I only read the first week, as I want to take it slowly. 🙂 I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old, so we’re starting early…not sure (as the reader above wrote) how it works at this age (2 1/2), but we’ve seen some benefit already. I don’t think she is ready to make her own breakfast though. 🙂 Thanks again.

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